Friday, January 20, 2012

Excuses, Excuses

Yesterday, someone left me an anonymous comment on this entry here, which is now over a year old.  I got an email notification and instantly felt a mixture of emotions.  I felt:
a) flattered, that people still read old entries of this blog;
b) reminiscent, about how much joy I once took in updating it; and,
c) ashamed, that I haven't updated much at all since I moved from Phoenixville to Pittsburgh.

I didn't mean to abandon my blog.  A few things happened that caused me to stop writing. 

First and foremost, I just CANNOT seem to find a place to take nice, bright, pictures of food in my kitchen in Pittsburgh.  I've been using a little, not-fancy digital camera for a long time to take these pictures and, somehow, in my old apartment with fluorescent lighting, it worked out.  My new apartment, although a true delight to cook in, has this hangy chandelier thing with really expensive and hard-to-find bulbs that cast an odd light, not to mention blow out all the time leaving relative darkness.  Add to that the fact that I get out of work later than I used to and no longer live within a five minute walking distance from home, leaving me little chance to take pictures by the window with natural sunlight, and I have the perfect storm for bad photos.  I do have two ideas, though.  One, I could try taking plates into my bright bathroom and snapping shots there.  Two, I could ask my photographer father for advice as to a good camera for shooting food pics, and then buy one.  That's rough for me, though, especially because of my next point...

My laptop is dying.  I hardly use it anymore.  It's old, and there's something the matter with its battery.  It doesn't hold a charge or something, even when plugged in.  It gives me this emergency message: "Replace your battery, OR ELSE."  I should just replace it.  Such things puzzle me, though.  I need technical assistance.  Where does a battery even live in a computer?  How does one access it?  Replace it?  Where does one purchase a battery? Is it expensive?  It's such a struggle to me that I just use my Android phone for all my internet needs and I don't update my blog.  Terrible, terrible.

And then, of course, there's the personal.  As I've shown time and time again on this blog, although I don't date much, when I do, it distracts me from posting, even if I hate the man I'm dating's guts and dump him within a week.  But here's something unprecedented: I've been dating the same man for over six months.  You know, those six months that I haven't updated my blog.  Partly it's distracting because it gives me the ability to cook for another person.  Sharing the food in person makes me less apt to need to share it publicly.  It satisfies this feminine craving I have to nurture with food.  I take such immense joy in cooking for others -- feeding people really good food -- and having this boyfriend to cook for is such a pleasure to me. It makes my blog less needed for emotional fulfillment.  Plus, he's distracting in other ways.  Good ways, mostly.  I just don't think about my blog.

All that said, I would like to pick Food and Loathing up again.  I have a whole bunch of new cookbooks.  But I need to solve my photography/computer problem.  The bathroom is probably the way to go for now with pictures, and my computer's battery will hopefully make it a while longer.  All hope is not lost!
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