Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Eating Better: Lunch and Dinner Edition, and Preparing for Vegan Mofo

Even though I've been blogging since 2010, and this really ought to be the third year I participate in Vegan Mofo, I've never done it before.  The thought of posting Every. Single. Day. for the Vegan Month of Food was all, like, whoa.  I mean, who has something to post about every day?  OK, I know there are people like that, and they are just incredibly amazing bloggers, but I'm not that amazing.  I don't even invent recipes!  I just cook from books and act all pithy and stuff!

It occurred to me, though, that this October, it's actually possible for me to participate in Vegan Mofo because, well, remember that WTF-long break I took from blogging?  Well, during that time, I was all, "No, really, eventually I'll blog this crap!" and I took pictures (in my dark, dark kitchen).  And now those pictures just sit on my computer, feeling neglected and resentful.  No more!  Those pictures have a job to do now.  They shall fill the Vegan Month of Food with its titular food, for the titular month.  And, you know, I'll blog currently-cooked things as well.  It's gonna be a blast!  I love October, don't you?  Something big happens to me every October, either something bad or good, but always something momentous.  Like, last year, my precious 1985 Mazda 626 took its last gasps and died.  And Elliott Smith died in an October.  And I've met a number of my longer-term partners in various Octobers.  And I had my first kiss in an October.  And I got my first period in an October.  And I first started working in law in an October.  I hope it's not something that sucks this year.  But even if it is, at least the Mofo will keep me satiated.  Mofo!

Let's talk dinner?  Trying to eat more veggies and less crap, I decided to make The Happy Herbivore's Blue Torn Chickpea Tacos.  Only, I didn't want any corn taco shells.  Instead, I cooked some of the bulk wild rice they sell at the East End Food Co-Op to use as the base of the recipe, and made the crispy spiced chickpeas from this recipe.  Then I just put some nice green lettuce and tomato from my garden atop.
Not too shabby.  I also made the tofu-based Lime Creme Sour Cream the author suggests to serve it with.  I'm not crazy about tofu sour cream, but mixed it all into this, and it was pretty good.  Those chickpeas would be a great snack on their own for a lot of people.  Like, instead of wasabi peas, have some chili chickpeas.  Hey, that's got a nice ring!

Having gotten the book Artisan Vegan Cheese by Miyoko Schinner pretty much as soon as it was released, I knew I needed to make something from it despite the high fat content of the cashew-based cheese.  Probably most people who read this blog know about the book; it is taking the vegan world by storm because it's truly ingenious.  The author decided to make plant-based cheeses using the same ideas about fermentation that dairy cheese-culturing uses.  Most vegan cheeses try to imitate the flavor of dairy cheese, but completely fail to imitate the sharp flavor of good cheese.  She gives you methods for creating friendly bacteria that will interact with cashews as it sits on your counter and cultures. You taste it along the way until it reaches the flavor you want.  This book takes some commitment, and it truly requires you to be active about creating a food work of art.  You simply must use your taste buds to decide when it's ready. 

One of the easiest recipes in the book, the Cashew Cream Cheese, uses the bacteria in non-dairy yogurt as its culturing agent.  She's also so kind as to give you a recipe for cashew yogurt that lets you buy a non-dairy yogurt from the store only once--you use just a bit to ferment a cashew-based yogurt, and you can keep saving just a bit of it to make more.  But this time for the cream cheese I just used some soy yogurt from the store.  Mix it with soaked raw cashews, let it ferment until it tastes like cream cheese!  It's that easy.  There's a bit of salt and water, too.  But that's it.  And it's really good!  It tastes like cream cheese.  I mixed some sun-dried tomatoes and garlic (and more salt) into half of it to make her Sun-Dried Tomato and Garlic Cream Cheese and kept the rest plain for other uses.

And then I went to the book Practically Raw and made the stupid-easy and good Rosemary-Garlic Bread.  It's a bread made from zucchini, almond and oat flour, flaxseed, dates, and some spices and lemon juice.  Like many/most of the recipes in the book, there's an option for dehydrating and an option for baking.  I had to bake it, but someday I'll get a dehydrator, I know.  This bread and the cream cheese was a match made in heaven!
I was so blown away by the extreme tastiness of these two things that I pretty much attacked everyone I encountered and made them eat some.  I gave a bit to the only person at my office besides me who is seriously interested in healthier foods, and he absolutely could not believe that the cream cheese was non-dairy.  He said the thing that people always say: "You could sell this!"  People just say that because they can't understand doing something good and productive for pleasure and for more-roundabout rewards, instead of for profit.  I always say, "Someone already DOES sell it.  I bought the recipe in a cookbook!"

Do you want to see the bread on its own?  OK, here it is.
You know, I'd been looking for a really great savory zucchini bread recipe.  During Vegan Mofo, I'll show you a failed attempt of mine.  This is perfect, though.  Yet, it's got no wheat.  And uses unprocessed foods (or minimally processed foods, since I guess the grinding of flaxseed, oatmeal, and almonds is all processing).

Also, I've been eating salads.  Salads!  I eat a lot of salad every day.
You can pretty much fill up on a salad like this.  At least for, like, two hours, and then you can have lunch part 2.  That's what I like to do, anyway.  I buy the organic, pre-washed greens in a box.  My favorite is the one that's half mixed greens and half baby spinach.  Also appearing in this salad: mushrooms, baby carrots, cucumbers, alfalfa sprouts, grape tomatoes, red onion, chia seeds, and some Bacos.  I know!  The Bacos.  They're not healthy, they have trans fat, but when I'm out of the bottle I have, I'll make my own with TVP, I promise.  I'm using up my bottled salad dressings also, before I start making my own.  My friend Kate, a woman who has influenced me enormously these past few months, turned me on to these recipes for chia seed-based dressings, so I think I'll try them in order to make lower-fat (and healthier-fat) dressings without a bunch of sugar.  For now, though, I'm using Whole Foods brand Ginger Soy Dressing, which is, well, delish. 

I made many more dinner foods, but this entry has gone on long enough, and I have to have SOMETHING left to feed the Mofo!

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Eating Better: Breakfast Edition

As I've mentioned before on this blog, I'm trying to eat better.  Lower fat, fewer processed grains and sugar, many more veggies.

To start with, instead of my usual carbalicious weekend breakfasts, or instead of just skipping breakfast like I usually do and going straight to lunch foods, I made myself some scrambled-tofu, and I didn't even have it with toast like I normally would have.  I'd been to the farmers market and I had fresh sweet corn that I cut off the cob and some spinach and an onion, so I made the Tofu Scramble in The Happy Herbivore.  I still couldn't bring myself to cook the veggies in water and then DRAIN them, though.  So, frankly, I cooked them with the residual oil left in my cast-iron skillet and added just a tiny bit of water.  In the future, though, I'm going to make some veggie broth and and freeze it in ice tray cubes and use the cubes of broth for sauteing veggies instead of oil.
Scrambled tofu with onion, garlic, spinach, and sweet corn
Can I just say?  What an enjoyable breakfast!  I'd been eating the sweet corn raw off the cob unadorned for days, ever since these cute young organic farmer guys gave me a sample at one of the farmer's markets, and I'd taken a great deal of pleasure from eating it.  But cut off and put into the scramble?  Man, it just gave it an oomph like I've never gotten from a tofu scramble.  I didn't even drown it in sriracha for once.  I basically followed Lindsay S. Nixon's recipe except that I greatly reduced the cumin.  I almost always greatly reduce cumin, but especially in tofu scrambles.  Also, I didn't put onion powder or garlic powder into it, opting instead for, you know, onion and garlic.  Hmmm, I guess I actually didn't follow the recipe that closely. 

During the week for breakfast, I've been juicing.  I know, hardcore, right?  I've had this juicer since this past Christmas.  My ex-boyfriend gave it to me, and after we broke up, I considered smashing that juicer a few times, I really did.  Luckily, it survived unsmashed, because now I'm finally using it every day. 
It's much easier to eat raw veggies when they're in liquid form and all mixed together with some fruit, in my opinion.  I struggle to eat salads sometimes.  I dislike many dressings, and I never really make my own dressing like I should.  And dressings are not really healthy anyway.  This is not to say I've given up salads--I haven't.  I'm eating one every day recently.  But I definitely need to figure out how I can make them more enjoyable.  Juices, on the other hand, are easily enjoyed!
Here is what all this particular juice contained: some kale, collard greens (which do not seem to be visible in the picture), a handful of parsley, three carrots, an apple, and half of a pepper.  You guys know I cook from books, so I'll be honest.  I didn't come up with this mix, it came from The Complete Book of Juicing: Your Delicious Guide to Youthful Vitality, which I bought for myself after I received my juicer this past December. 
Tips for juicing!  You want some?  Cool, here's what I've learned so far.

  1. Put the greens in first, followed by not-leafy stuff.  The not-leafy stuff seems to come out more green after the leaves have been put through, which means some more of that green juice is coming out as a result of having been put in first.
  2. Roll your leafy greens into a big mass of greens, like a snowball, and PUSH them through your juicer with the pusher lid thing.  Don't just let them fall.  More juice seems to come out this way if the greens cannot escape by falling onto those swiftly rotating blades all haphazard-like. 
  3. You need not peel carrots!  But you can, especially if you're really sensitive about wanting this to taste extra-delicious.  At first I peeled mine, but then I stopped.  Same with the hard stems from the greens.  It makes it taste a little better not to have those things, but it really doesn't bother me to include them.
  4. Washing!  It's super-important to wash your leafy greens really well.  You are going to eat them raw!  Raw greens can equal bacteria awfulness like salmonella.  I intend to avoid salmonella for as long as possible, personally.  So I wash everything really well with a fruit and veggie wash, sort of like FIT, but actually I've been using this one made by a natural/organic company called Celedon Road that my friend Kate hawks wares for. 
  5. Prep and clean-up!  Yeah, OK, this all involves some prep.  I've been drinking my juice in the morning and if I was trying to wash everything in the morning, well, I just wouldn't do it.  So I prep exactly what I'm going to juice the night before, and I put it all into one of those plastic baggies that you get from grocery stores to hold your produce.  I don't know about you, but I habitually retain and reuse those baggies for everything.  Free baggies, folks, don't waste 'em!  And clean up.  My Breville juicer is really easy to clean.  The trick is, you must do it right after you drink the juice.  Don't let it sit and dry out.  Just rinse it off entirely right after using it. 

The only other juicing advice I have right now, I guess, is that while it is nice to get organic veggies, that may not be possible for you.  It's not very possible for me.  The fact is, I want to eat veggies, not junk, and in order to afford it, I am going to buy it as cheaply as possible.   I bicycle through the Strip District every day on my way to work, so it's really easy for me to stop at Stan's Market and buy a pound of carrots for $0.79 or three peppers for $1.68 or whatever.  So I do.  I stop there every few days.  They recognize me there!  It would be so awesome if I could buy organic, and I'd love fewer pesticides, but currently, I take what I can get and wash everything as well as I can and hope the micronutrients will prevent cancer.

I have one more delightful breakfast item for you.  It's an Apple Pie Smoothie from the book Practically Raw, which I am so happy I bought, because I love it so far.
Yummy!  The blue you see is part of my wine glasses, not mold or anything.  The only problem with this was that I had the worst blender ever!  It was given to me for free and never worked.  All it ever did was get everything put in there to hang out against the walls of the blender while the blade turned, unimpeded by stupid FOOD.  So, I made this with my food processor, which also isn't particularly amazing, and is not ideal.  However, since then, my friend Mary gave me a blender that her aunt was selling at an estate sale!  I can't wait to try it.  And I shall.  I think it's clear that I'm on the road to green smoothies here.

I cannot believe I'm becoming one of those people, with the health food, and the juicing, and the RUNNING.  Did I mention I've taken up running?  I can't believe it either.  It's like, do you remember in the show Parks and Recreation when Anne tells Chris that when she was dating him, she found herself doing things she never expected to do, like jogging?  And Chris says, "Jogging is amazing!"  And Anne says, "Jogging is the worst, Chris!  I mean, it keeps you healthy, but at what cost?"  Well, I was always more like Anne before, but now that I'm living in a Chris kind of way, I find myself having his style of energy more and more, and wanting to do things like run.  So I have been.  I know.  WTF.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Gathering Seeds

Seeing as how the official end of summer is just around the corner (nooooooo!), I thought you might want to gather seeds with me.

I'm a gardening noob, so for me, when I first accidentally discovered how easy it is to gather seeds for next year from certain plants, it totally blew my mind.  Next year, my garden will be completely different, and I'm going to see if there are any good places to get better tomato seeds than ones from the store, and once I start growing them, I'll do what is necessary to keep seeds for the next year, but for now, I'm sticking with two of the most outrageously simple seeds to gather.  I mean it, it's a complete outrage!  How DARE it be so simple?  Getouttahere! 

The first is marigolds.  Marigolds are amazing!  They grow fast and strong, and they have multiple blooms on each plant, and they repel harmful insects for some reason.  Eventually, each bloom the plants grow will reach the end of its life and die and dry out.  I, not knowing anything about anything, just let them be, whatevs. 

marigold deadheads
But then my friend Heather, who has a great deal more experience with gardening, told me that I should remove the deadheads.  So I started doing that.  And one time, instead of pulling the whole head off, I pulled just the dead flower part out by accident.  That's how I discovered the seeds!  It was a complete revelation to me that probably sounds really duh to a lot of people.  But gathering marigold seeds is easy!

Here's your deadhead.  This isn't the driest one ever, but that's fine.
And you just pull the seeds right out of the green.
Then just take off the orange that remains. 
And put it somewhere to dry.  You have to let them dry out completely before you even think about putting them into a closed container or else they'll get moldy.  That's right, they'll get moldy just because you THOUGHT about closing that container.  So don't think about it, OK.  Stop.  Just stop thinking about it.  Stop right now, I'm serious.

Cilantro!  It's delicious and easy to grow, but it goes to seed really quickly and easily.  Meaning flowers grow and the yummy green stops growing and it gets covered in seeds and then the plant dies off and what remains are stalks covered in seeds.  The trick is to just keep planting cilantro!  Never stop all summer long.  Plant one a week, or more, whatever, it'll be fine. 

It seems like cilantro is best when it's pretty young and each plant doesn't give you much.  You really have to grow a lot of them, kind of like this, except, actually, much more would be better.
And then it'll get taller and have flowers and seeds and you should have some new plants already planted by now.
It's the end of the summer, and I do have some small cilantro plants going, but I also have some nice old dry tall stalks covered in seeds.
They look about ready for Autumn, don't you think?
These little babies couldn't be easier to pull off and save.
If these were at all wet, I'd let them dry out, but these are dry.  Still, can't hurt to let 'em dry a little more before covering.  They'll be delicious salsa in about another eight or nine months, yay!!  Also, doesn't this picture make my hand look super-wrinkly?  I feel like some weirdo is trying to read my palm right now.

Hey, also, just because it took a really long time for these to grow and bloom, and then they were pretty short-lived, I want you all to enjoy my lovely sunflowers:

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Eatin' at Eden - The Miracle of Raw Food!

One day on my bicycle, I discovered a restaurant in Shadyside that was hidden away called Eden.  It's a vegan/raw restaurant, although it does let you "sub" chicken on certain recipes.  Umm, lol?  I guess you have to throw a (literal) bone to the a-holes who won't try something new at a restaurant even just one flippin' time.  But anyway, I immediately texted my friend Kate and was like, "WE SHOULD GO TO EDEN OK?"  And Kate was all, "I'm in Toronto having a vegan birthday weekend with my uber-sweet and supportive omni boyfriend!"  And I was all, "D'oh!"

But because Kate is awesome, when she came back, she arranged with all interested friends to go eat at Eden to celebrate her birthday. 

I never tried raw food before, but my interest was piqued by it recently after I decided to try to eat healthier overall.  Seems like eating raw food will guarantee that you stay away from excessive fat, and certainly away from high levels of carbohydrates, and also it would have to mean eating actual vegetables.

I started with a kale shot.  It's just kale, ginger, and lemon.
Not bad!  I could make this.  I have a juicer.  Why not shoot a little kale every day? For magic kale energy?  Can't hurt.

Kate and Sara both got the raw sampler menu.  It's $15 for a three course meal -- appetizer, entree, dessert.  Each course has a bit of three of the raw items from the menu in each category.  In the appetizer and dessert category, there are more than three raw items on the menu, so, sadly, there's a least one you don't have the pleasure of getting to try.  Which I suppose means I'm going to have to return soon before it switches off the Summer Menu!  Here's course 1, the apps:
I'm not actually totally sure what kind of soup that is or what the other appetizer is.  I didn't taste either one (sadly), and they don't seem to be what is listed on the menu online.  I do know, though, that not pictured is the Fresh Fruit with "Goat Cheese" and Local Honey because, to be true to the blog, I didn't take a picture of it, as it had honey.  Kate forgot to ask them to withhold it, which they would have been happy to do.

Course 2, the main event:

Hard to see in the picture, but you're looking at the Zucchini Ravioli, the Nacho Bowl, and a Stuffed Tomato.  I didn't get to try the Stuffed Tomato (nor is it actually very clear to me which of the items pictured above WAS the stuffed tomato and which is the Nacho Bowl, and I'm confused by my dumb picture-taking!) but Kate and Sara said it was aaaahmaaaaazing.  I ordered the full portion of Zucchini Ravioli, and I loved it to an absurd extent.

Our friend Ali ordered the full portion of the Nacho Bowl and let me eat some and Wow!  Also amazing.  I mean, holy schnikes!  That's made of veggies!  I need to get a dehydrator.

And course 3, the desserts:
We put the candle on for Kate's birthday.
Each of us got to eat a bit of each dessert, because we were feeling good and satiated, and also because we intended to afterward get soy ice cream from Oh Yeah! Ice Cream.  These desserts were good, but they're not as great as fatty, sugary desserts.  Them's the breaks, I guess.  Still, I could get used to it.  Moreover, that matters less to me.  I mean, dessert is dessert.  It's not meant to be healthy.  It should be eaten in moderation, obvs.  And probably not every day.  Recently, I've been satisfying my sweet tooth with just plain fruit.  I won't do that forever, but it seems worthwhile to "detox" from junk food for a bit to see how I feel.  In any case, these desserts were nice, they were sweetened with figs, and they were cute as can be!

So let me tell you about this miracle of miracles.  At the start of the meal, I tested my blood sugar and it was 58.  That's a little bit low, but not dangerously so.  Then I ate all that stuff.  Almost my entire zucchini ravioli dish (shared a bit with Ali), had a bit of Ali's nacho dish, had some bites of dessert, plus that kale shot.  I felt satiated.  Not sick full, but like I ate a good meal and wasn't hungry.  I tested my blood sugar 1/2 hour after we'd eaten but before ice cream and guess the hell what: my blood sugar had risen to only 92!

Do you know what this means?  It means the entire meal required me to inject NO INSULIN WHATSOEVER.  In the 21 years I've had diabetes, I have never had a meal like that, ever.  This blew my mind to such an extent that I realized that I absolutely had to had to had to get a raw "cook"book or two.  No time to waste!  This would cure people's type 2 diabetes, I'm sure of it.  Nothing cures type 1, but eating like this certainly would make it easier to control and also less expensive (insulin costs $$$$). 

Ummm, and then we got ice cream. Oh Yeah!

Many more lovely people joined us for ice cream-eating and post-ice cream-eating conversation at Oh Yeah!

Eden on Urbanspoon

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Struggling to Eat Whole Foods, Labor Day, and Obama Bird Family

OK, so, I'm serious about eating more whole foods.  More veggies, less oil, opting for rice or quinoa or other grains over bread.  And...baking... less...  NO, WANT TO BAKE, MUST BAKE!!  **No**I**must**bake**less**              But, but, but, but... cookies?
Really, it won't be 100%, but I have been making some changes.  Thanks a lot, Forks Over Knives, you jerk!

One thing about me, though, is that even when I update this blog consistently, I'm not updating as much as I actually could.  I get behind on stuff.  So, first I'm gonna show you something really tasty and not whole-foodsy at all.  Something that I made because it didn't require going to the store to get any, you know, fresh ingredients besides the garlic and onion I've always got on hand.  I was just a-flippin' through Vegan Brunch and I was like, "Oh hey!  I can make a few breakfast items without going to the store, yay!"

I made the Cherry Sage Sausages first.  I had navy beans in my freezer from having slow-cooked them and put them into freezer-safe baggies in 1 and 1/2 cup portions.  But the recipe only calls for 1/2 cup.  So I decided to triple the recipe and freeze the suckers, so I could enjoy vegan sausage-y goodness for weeks and weeks to come.  Only, I don't have the space to steam that many sausages all at once, and I didn't want to steam things all night.  So I googled about baking seitan sausages in the oven, and then, like an idiot, just followed what I found with so little thinking.  And I messed them up, man.  I overcooked the hell out of 'em.  I should have known better, but I was distracted, very distracted, by my dumb stupid life.  Oh well.  They weren't destroyed, they just aren't great.  And there are SO MANY of them.  Oh boo.

The next day, I made the Herbed Whole Wheat Drop Biscuits and the Navy Bean Gravy (another baggie of navy beans from the freezer).
Even overcooked, over-dry sausages are good when smothered in delicious, delicious gravy.  And those biscuits reheated so nicely in a toaster oven.  This tasted like yumz.  It was too good, and I ate it for days before I decided to GO GET SOME VEGETABLES ALREADY.

This past Thursday, on my new kick, we were ordering at a classic crap restaurant at work.  It's this place called Damons, and it's a chain sports bar that wants to be a TGI Fridays or something.  Their side salad is iceberg lettuce with diced tomatoes, cheese, and croutons.  Thumbs down frowny face, amiriteguys?  Usually, I get the portobello mushroom burger without the cheese and maybe the applesauce side.  It's the only vegetarian option!  But this time, I asked them to omit the cheese AND the bun and give me the "Garden Rice" instead, and I got a side of veggies.
Guess what.  It was good.  Really good.  I mean, who would think that I could get something so healthy and vegan from Damons, of all places in Pittsburgh?  I sure didn't think so.  But the veggies were steamed, not fried in oil or butter or anything.  I'd prefer multi-grain rice, but it was fine.  The mushroom was delicious.  I cut it up and mixed it all together and it was actually incredibly satisfying!

Most of the week I ate salads and fruit, though.  And I am not unhappy doing that.  I cooked some other stuff, but I'll save it for my next entry because, hey, Labor Day!  It's less appropriate to post about Labor Day in another week, you know?

So, you guy!  Labor Day!  I love a day off of work, don't you?  I didn't go to a barbeque or anything, but I did go to a Labor Day brunch.  Worried there would be nothing for me to eat, I both made Vegan Brunch's Tempeh Sausage Pastry Puffs and also the East Coast Coffee Cake for which I used both the banana variation (mix a mushed banana into the dough) and the jam swirl variation (swirl some jam in, ya' genius).  I failed to take a picture of the coffee cake.  And I also failed to take a picture of the Tempeh Puffs.  But, you may recall, I totally, like, just made these not very long ago.  And I also have a very nice photo from having made them, like, over two years ago, back in Phoenixville.
I made it a little tiny bit different this time, though.  First, I cut the amount of fennel seeds in half.  I contend that one does not need a mouthful of fennel to get that flavor!  But to each his or her own, I suppose.  Second, this time, I sauteed the veggies and tempeh in the tempeh marinade instead of using oil, because I figured the sinfully good, expensive puff pastry is high-fat enough, na'mean?

But also, check out this amazingly good raw "taco" this woman Emily brought.  I don't actually understand what all this stuff is, but it was grrrrreat.  Some kale stuff, some bean yum (that part isn't raw, I don't think), something involving beets(??). And I thought there'd be nothing else there I could eat there, ha!  The hosts even had soy milk for the coffee.

Considering that Labor Day is kinda supposed to be a grilling, all-American, whatever whatever day, though, and also because I'd reserved the new Alicia C. Simpson book Quick and Easy Low-Cal Vegan Comfort Food and the library finally had it for me, I made myself some Ballpark Hot Dogs, whole foods be damned!  And, OK, I ate them with salad.
I liked these dogs a lot!  I mean, they tasted good.  Better than the only other ones I've ever made, the one in 500 Vegan Recipes by Steen & Newman, although I generally dig that book a lot (500 is a lot of recipes, dude).

And, finally, before it's too late, let me tell you that even though the bird family doesn't fit in the nest anymore, The Tweets still live exclusively in the yard next door and both Mama and Daddy bird come 'round and hang out.  I've seen one of them feeding the little ones mouth-to-mouth, and I don't know if both Mom and Dad do that or what, but it seems like the babes just chill nervously until the one or both of the parents rejoins them and wants to chill.

Here are The Tweets alone:

And here are the four of them together.  Well, kinda together.  If they were the Obamas, it would be like Malia decided she just wanted to chill by herself a little bit.
The one of the right is all like, "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I guess I'll just go eat worms!"  Which is equally as absurd and gross for mourning doves as for angsty kids, cuz mourning doves are seed-eaters.
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